Saturday, 12 June 2010

An Open Letter from the Owners of The Original Femdom Network

We are very sad and disappointed to learn of Eva and The Dominion’s departure from our community.  We regret that this has been an acrimonious parting for one of the founding members of the Network.  Nonetheless, we feel the need to address Eva’s blog posting at http://dominionfemdom.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-femdom-network.html in which she explains she left the Network because we did not issue a Network-wide ban of someone at her request.

A Network-wide ban is a very serious measure, one for which there is no appeal.  Such a decision risks seriously testing the solidarity of our community because, inevitably, some of our members will be compelled to discipline individuals who may not have done them any harm nor done anything in their presence to merit punishment.  We fear that, because of Eva’s regular absences from our group meetings, including both the meeting in which the policy for Network-wide bans was approved and the meeting at which this specific case was discussed, she may have misunderstood the policy and decisions that the members of The Femdom Network agreed to at those meetings.

We are a community of strong, self-sufficient and opinionated women, and the nature of our activities in SL means that strong emotions are often near the surface.  Our Network is held together by communication and mutual respect, not by obedience to the demands of a single individual.  It was our decision that Network-wide bans would be considered only in the most egregious cases of abuse -- such as credible threats against someone in RL -- and be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.  It is not something we do often or lightly, and never without collective discussion.  We did, in fact, unanimously ban someone at Eva's request for exactly these sorts of very serious reasons.  In this more recent incident, however, it was decided, also unanimously and regrettably in Eva's absence, that the particular individual who had so perturbed her had not acted in a manner that met the standard for such severe punishment.

Nonetheless, the Network members jointly issued a formal warning letter to this individual requesting that he stay well away from Eva and refrain from going to the Dominion as himself or alts.  We also informed him that we would closely watch his behavior and that any future infractions would see him banned across all of our sister sims.  This was two weeks before Eva departed the Network, and as she notes in her blog post, she has not had any further problem with this person.

Subsequently, in an unrelated incident, one of our Network members reported that an individual had threatened the life of one of her members.  This case closely fit the kind of behavior for which we instituted the ban policy, and we have accepted her report, issued a temporary ban, and will discuss the case in depth at our next meeting.  Unfortunately, it seems that Eva felt that she was being singled out by having her earlier request turned down.

Simply put, it is not enough to demand that someone be banned. If Eva had the impression that membership in our community meant we would ban anyone we were asked to, we regret that we must inform her that this was simply never the case.

A successful sisterhood runs on open discussion and open decision-making processes.  These are among our core values, and we would have been happy to discuss the matter with Eva and give her a chance to convince us of her cause.  We are very disappointed that not only did she not attend the meeting to explain her request, she has responded to the decision by not speaking to any of us -- as individuals or as a group -- to resolve the matter.  Instead, she altered the permissions of the Femdom group (which was created to allow all of the femdoms to advertise their events), the Fetlife.com group, and the Femdom Network Blog on Blogspot. The only notice any of us received of her attitude was a message -- sent out to Dominion members -- that she had decided to leave the Femdom Network.  And yet, for all her actions and public denouncement of the Femdom Network, she has not removed herself as an owner of the Femdom Network group, and in fact has indicated that she will not do so.

The Femdom Network was created to bring sim owners together and to empower us all by joining forces.  It was never our intent that this would allow any of us to bully others or our expectation that such a division and public display of such would arise from the group we worked so hard to establish and nurture.

We have taken the opportunity created by this unfortunate situation to reflect on our core ideals, which are founded on open communication, respect and democracy.  We are more than a network; we are a community, with rich relationships, caring sisters, and commitment to the enhancement of the femdom lifestyle.  We have chosen a new name, Femdom Community of SL, which better reflects the harmonious nature of our union of femdom leaders and is inclusive of the many individuals who participate in the broader femdom world in SL.

We wish, despite our disappointment, the best for Eva and her Femdom Network.

Founders of the "Femdom Community in SL"
formerly "The Femdom Network"

http://fetlife.com/groups/19724


==============


Nous sommes très desolé au départ d'Eva et de La Dominion de notre
communauté.  Nous regrettons que ce départ d'une des membres
fondatrices du Réseau soit si âcre.  Néanmoins, nous nous sentons
obligées d'addresser l'article qu'Eva a diffusé par son blog
( http://dominionfemdom.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-femdom-network.html ),
dans lequel elle précise que son départ est dû à notre hésitation à
prohiber l'entré, dans tout le réseau, d'un individu qu'elle voulais
interdire.

Interdire tout accès aux sims du réseau est une punition très
serieuse, duquel il n'y a aucun recours.  Une telle decision met à
l'epreuve notre solidarité communautaire parce que, inévitablement,
certaines de nos membres seront obligées de punir des individus qui
n'ont jamais fait des infractions contre elles.  A cause de son
absence regulière de nos séances communes, y compris celle ou nous
avons introduit notre politique en matiere d'interdictions des
individus et celle ou l'on a discuté l'interdiction demandée par Eva,
nous supposons qu'elle a peut-etre mal compris la politique et les
decisions prises par les membres du Réseau.

Nous sommes des femmes autonomes et opiniâtres, et la nature même des
nos activités en SL implique souvent des emotions fortes.  Notre
association a pour fondation la communication ouverte et le respect
mutuel, et non l'obeissance aux exigeances d'un individu seul.  Nous
nous sommes toutes mises d'accord qu'une interdiction sur tous les
sims membres ne serait imposée qu'au cas les plus sevères -- par
example, des menaces croyable en RL -- et ne serait imposée qu'après
un debat chez les members.  Ce n'est jamais quelque chose que nous
imposons  légèrement.  Nous avons, precedement, imposé par consensus
unanime une interdiction contre un usager qui a fait des menaces en
RL.  Mais à l'égard de cet incident plus recent, nous avons aussi
décidé, par consensus unanime mais sans la presence d'Eva, que cet
individu qui lui a tellement agacé ne s'est comporté de facon si grave
qu'on pourrait, en bonne foi, lui imposer une telle punition.

Nous avons quand même lui envoyé un lettre formel lui defendant de
s'appocher à Eva et de s'abstenir de la Dominion.  Nous lui avons
aussi avisé que toute nouvelle infraction lui verra interdit de tout
sim dans notre réseau.  Ces evenements se sont arrivé deux semaines
avant le départ d'Eva et, tout comme noté sur son blog, Eva n'a eu
aucun ennui avec cet individu depuis.

Plus recemment, et pas du tout lié aux faits precedents, une de nos
membres -- pas Eva -- nous a reporté qu'un individu a menacé la vie
d'une membre de sa communauté.  Ce cas-la est prototypique des cas
pour lesquels nous avons introduit cette politique d'interdiction.
Nous avons accepté son compte-rendu, imposé une interdiction
temporaire contre l'individu, et nous discuterons une interdiction
permanente à notre prochaine séance.  Malheureusement, Eva s'en est
senti personellement insulté parce que nous l'avons refusé quand elle
voulait imposer une interdiction, et nous l'avons accepté dans un
autre cas.

Tout court: il n'est pas assez de demander que l'on interdit
quelqu'un.  Si Eva croyait qu'etre membre de notre communauté implique
que nous bannissons n'importe qui parce que l'on nous le demande, nous
regrettons de lui informer que ce n'était jamais le cas.

Une communauté de consoeurs exige la discussion libre et des processus
de decision ouverts.  Ce sont parmi nos valeurs fondammentales. Nous
étions toutes prêtes à discuter ce sujet avec Eva et de lui donner
l'opportunité de nous convaincre de la justesse de sa cause.  Nous
sommes très deçues qu'elle non seulement s'est abstenue de la séance
ou l'on a discuté sa demande, mais aussi qu'elle a repondu sans même
communiquer avec aucun de nous -- ni comme individu ni en groupe --
pour trouver une solution.  Elle a plutot changé les permissions au
groupe Femdom (qui a été établi pour que nous puissions toutes
annoncer nos evenements), le groupe Fetlife.com, et le Femdom Network
Blog sur Blogspot.  Nous n'avons reçus aucun préavis jusqu'à ce
qu'elle a diffusé, au groupe Dominion, sa decision de partir du réseau
Femdom.  Par contre, elle n'a pas quitté son role de proprietaire du
groupe Femdom et nous indique elle ne le quittera pas.

Le Reseau Femdom a été créé afin de rassembler les proprietaires des
sims pour pouvoir nous soutenir les uns les autres.  Il n'était jamais
notre but qu'un membre pourrait s'imposer aux autres ni qu'une telle
division et querelle publique pourrait se produire au sein d'un groupe
pour lequel nous avons tous tellement travaillé.

En reponse à cette situation, nous reflechissions sur nos ideaux
fondammentaux, basés sur la communication ouverte, le respect et la
democratie.  Nous sommes plus qu'un réseau, nous sommes une
communauté, plein de connections fertiles, des consoeurs qui nous
soutiennent, et dedication aux principles du femdom.  Nous avons donc
choisi un nouveau nom: Femdom Community of SL.  Nous croyons que ce
nom mieux reflechi l'harmonie de notre union de chefs de femdoms et se
presente comme plus inclusif des autres individus qui participe au
femdom en SL.

Nous souhaitons, malgré notre déception, pour le mieux pour Eva et son
Femdom Network.

http://femdomcommunityinsl.blogspot.com/

http://fetlife.com/groups/19724

2 comments:

  1. "It was never our intent that this would allow any of us to bully others..."

    That statement implies that Lady Eva was bullying other members of The Femdom Network. However, it does so without making the kind of clear and forthright statement one would come to expect from "a community of strong, self-sufficient and opinionated women". Instead it leads the reader to infer.

    Furthermore, a Femdom "community" would need to include submissives (in their proper place and role of course), as well as Dommes. Otherwise it wouldn't be a community, but only a network.

    I don't know the details of what transpired, but those details are beside the point of my post, which is to say that Lady Eva certainly deserves more respect than your Open Letter gives to her.

    I understand all about Respect, most importantly that it must be Earned.

    ~Ian Newt

    ReplyDelete
  2. Actually the new group "Femdom Community in SL" is open to all and will include event information across all of our members.

    I suggest Ian that you read between the lines. Respect is a two way street.

    ReplyDelete

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